The Quest Program
Although it might sound like the most daunting of our services, The Quest Programme for Gay Men forms the centrepiece of our work.
“The Quest Programme is a transforming voyage of Self rediscovery, reconnection, realignment and reignition”
– Ade Adeniji, Co-Founder
“We call this an ‘intervention’. A way of pressing a ‘reset’ button for our lives”
– Darren Brady, Co-Founder
What is it?
The Quest Program is a psycho-educational and experiential process that allows participants to create a life they wholeheartedly love.
A team of professional Group Facilitators and certified Coaches take participants on an exhilarating and life changing journey that is intense, revealing, nurturing and profound.
The Quest Program, organised in groups of up to 16 gay men, draws upon the latest evidence based practices including – self-inquiry, discussions in pairs/triads, small and large groups, sharing memories, psychological exploration, mindfulness, book work, journaling, coaching, self reflection and contributions from practitioners including Brené Brown, Alan Downs and David Richo.
During the process, participants get to grieve the past, release thoughts and beliefs that are no longer serving them, and practice new behaviours and beliefs that move them forward to living a life of fulfillment, connection and authentic self expression.
We go to the heart of the matter by posing the question:
“How is our past negatively impacting our present and jeopardising our future?”
Reflections from past participants
The Quest Program in detail
Preparation: Participants are asked make lists of reflections in response to a daily question for 6 days leading up to the face-to-face session.
Friday (10am- 6pm): Introduction session. Preparing for the journey, setting intentions and establishing safety. Exploring significant life moments and self-defeating habits. Investigating early childhood experiences. Exploring Shame.
Saturday (10am – 6pm): Investigating -late childhood and adolescence experiences, Exploring – Limiting Beliefs & Survival Strategies, Investigating – ‘Overwhelmed by shame’ and ‘Compensating for shame. Releasing grief.
Sunday (10am – 5.30pm): Exploring – Adult experiences, Cultivating self-compassion and authenticity. Expressing intimacy. Taking a challenge. Forgiveness.
Integration: Participants will take part in a 6-day email check-in, starting the Monday after our weekend together. There will then be three online (via Zoom) sessions, where attendees get to explore a range of topics to help them embed the insights from the weekend. These sessions will take place on the first three Sundays after the weekend.
We guide the group through a series of carefully constructed activities that constructively reveal a different way forward.
During the voyage, The Quest uses a map comprising of four main ‘ports of call’ (or significant milestones) – Investigation, Exploration, Release and Cultivation – each port serving as a platform to help you better understand your past and fully step into your present.
- ‘Investigate’ the past, looking at the significant moments and experiences that impacted their childhood, adolescence and early adulthood.
- ‘Explore’ the present, by casting a critical eye over in their respective lives.
- An opportunity to safely work through the pain and ‘Release’ the underlying toxicity that can prohibit them from leading a truly fulfilled life.
- By creating valuable insights and life-skills each participant will become the true architect of their lives and ‘Cultivate’ an authentic way of living.
1. ODDLY OUT OF PLACE: Openly same-sex relationships are rarely reflected in our family of origin, nor in the families of those around us. Like all children, many of us looked around us for information, examples and guidance to help us make sense of our inner world and feel a sense of belonging, but we often found little or no evidence to match our hungry and inquisitive nature. In our search for meaning many of us had thoughts that included – Something is wrong, I don’t belong, I am alone
2. DEVELOPING LIMITING BELIEFS: Those thoughts led to beliefs that there was something wrong with us. Many of us had internal beliefs that included – I am bad, I am unlovable, I am unworthy, I am not good enough, I am a mistake, I am different
3. SURVIVAL STRATEGIES: In order to carry on with day-to-day living, we had to hide the limiting beliefs, we therefore put in place a variety of survival strategies. Many of us developed strategies that include – The Charmer,The Rebel, The Joker, The Pleaser, The Seducer, The Prince, The Chameleon, The Shape-shifter
4. THE PAST IN OUR PRESENT: This journey from childhood, through adolescence and into adulthood leaves many of us still carrying unhealed emotional scars, wounds and trauma from the past, which show up in our present day experiences. These show up in a variety of ways which can include – anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, risky behaviours, low self- esteem, addictions and other self-defeating habits
By attending this interactive and engaging programme, participants will:
- Gain a deeper understanding of how their upbringing has impacted their emotional development
- Develop an increased awareness of their behaviour and emotions
- Be engaged in a healing process
- Identify tools to improve their sense of self and their relationships
- Gain clarity on next steps for themselves, their relationships, and the world they live in
- Experience the support and intimacy of a group of gay men
- Create a positive and supportive new network
- Gain a greater sense of living as a gay man in today’s world
The Quest Programme is designed for gay men of all backgrounds and experiences, from personal development first timers to seasoned therapists. Diversity is essential to the success of the workshop and this is reflected in the diverse ages, physical abilities, ethnic backgrounds and income brackets of our participants.