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The Quest Program
Program overview
Although it might sound like the most daunting of our services, The Quest Programme for Gay Men forms the centrepiece of our work.
“The Quest Programme is a transforming voyage of Self rediscovery, reconnection, realignment and reignition”
– Ade Adeniji, Co-Founder
“We call this an ‘intervention’. A way of pressing a ‘reset’ button for our lives”
– Darren Brady, Co-Founder
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What is it?
The Quest Program is a psycho-educational and experiential process that allows participants to create a life they wholeheartedly love.
A team of professional Group Facilitators and certified Coaches take participants on an exhilarating and life changing journey that is intense, revealing, nurturing and profound.
The Quest Program, organised in groups of up to 16 gay men, draws upon the latest evidence based practices including – self-inquiry, discussions in pairs/triads, small and large groups, sharing memories, psychological exploration, mindfulness, book work, journaling, coaching, self reflection and contributions from practitioners including Brené Brown, Alan Downs and David Richo.
During the process, participants get to grieve the past, release thoughts and beliefs that are no longer serving them, and practice new behaviours and beliefs that move them forward to living a life of fulfillment, connection and authentic self expression.
We go to the heart of the matter by posing the question:
“How is our past negatively impacting our present and jeopardising our future?”
Reflections from past participants
Details
FAQs
Details
The Quest Program in detail
Preparation: Participants are asked make lists of reflections in response to a daily question for 6 days leading up to the face-to-face session.
Friday (10am- 6pm): Introduction session. Preparing for the journey, setting intentions and establishing safety. Exploring significant life moments and self-defeating habits. Investigating early childhood experiences. Exploring Shame.
Saturday (10am – 6pm): Investigating -late childhood and adolescence experiences, Exploring – Limiting Beliefs & Survival Strategies, Investigating – ‘Overwhelmed by shame’ and ‘Compensating for shame. Releasing grief.
Sunday (10am – 5.30pm): Exploring – Adult experiences, Cultivating self-compassion and authenticity. Expressing intimacy. Taking a challenge. Forgiveness.
Integration: Participants will take part in a 6-day email check-in, starting the Monday after our weekend together. There will then be three online (via Zoom) sessions, where attendees get to explore a range of topics to help them embed the insights from the weekend. These sessions will take place on the first three Sundays after the weekend.
Our Approach
We guide the group through a series of carefully constructed activities that constructively reveal a different way forward.
During the voyage, The Quest uses a map comprising of four main ‘ports of call’ (or significant milestones) – Investigation, Exploration, Release and Cultivation – each port serving as a platform to help you better understand your past and fully step into your present.
- ‘Investigate’ the past, looking at the significant moments and experiences that impacted their childhood, adolescence and early adulthood.
- ‘Explore’ the present, by casting a critical eye over in their respective lives.
- An opportunity to safely work through the pain and ‘Release’ the underlying toxicity that can prohibit them from leading a truly fulfilled life.
- By creating valuable insights and life-skills each participant will become the true architect of their lives and ‘Cultivate’ an authentic way of living.
1. ODDLY OUT OF PLACE: Openly same-sex relationships are rarely reflected in our family of origin, nor in the families of those around us. Like all children, many of us looked around us for information, examples and guidance to help us make sense of our inner world and feel a sense of belonging, but we often found little or no evidence to match our hungry and inquisitive nature. In our search for meaning many of us had thoughts that included – Something is wrong, I don’t belong, I am alone
2. DEVELOPING LIMITING BELIEFS: Those thoughts led to beliefs that there was something wrong with us. Many of us had internal beliefs that included – I am bad, I am unlovable, I am unworthy, I am not good enough, I am a mistake, I am different
3. SURVIVAL STRATEGIES: In order to carry on with day-to-day living, we had to hide the limiting beliefs, we therefore put in place a variety of survival strategies. Many of us developed strategies that include – The Charmer,The Rebel, The Joker, The Pleaser, The Seducer, The Prince, The Chameleon, The Shape-shifter
4. THE PAST IN OUR PRESENT: This journey from childhood, through adolescence and into adulthood leaves many of us still carrying unhealed emotional scars, wounds and trauma from the past, which show up in our present day experiences. These show up in a variety of ways which can include – anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, risky behaviours, low self- esteem, addictions and other self-defeating habits
By attending this interactive and engaging programme, participants will:
- Gain a deeper understanding of how their upbringing has impacted their emotional development
- Develop an increased awareness of their behaviour and emotions
- Be engaged in a healing process
- Identify tools to improve their sense of self and their relationships
- Gain clarity on next steps for themselves, their relationships, and the world they live in
- Experience the support and intimacy of a group of gay men
- Create a positive and supportive new network
- Gain a greater sense of living as a gay man in today’s world
The Quest Programme is designed for gay men of all backgrounds and experiences, from personal development first timers to seasoned therapists. Diversity is essential to the success of the workshop and this is reflected in the diverse ages, physical abilities, ethnic backgrounds and income brackets of our participants.
FAQs
FAQs
The programme normally has a group between 10 – 16 gay, bi and queer men. In addition, there are 3 Assistants to support the Facilitators and Participants, these are guys who have previously attended the programme.
People join us for different reasons: To look into an issue they have been experiencing, to learn how to live a more fulfilling and authentic life, to meet like-minded people away from the traditional LGBTQ scene, to explore relationships and situations that are no longer serving them, to develop more confidence. These are just some of the reasons why.
We always ask participants to identify what they hope to take away from attending, and during the programme we revisit this subject too. Ultimately the programme allows participants to become more aware of the experiences, thoughts, emotions, beliefs and behaviours that shaped who they are and how to break the cycle of self-defeating habits.
No. What is required is an open mind, a curiosity about your own life, a willingness to listen and a commitment to the weekend process
No. The programme is designed for a very diverse range of gay, bi and queer men with differing backgrounds. There may be some people attending that have had very intense and distressing childhoods and there may be others who have had a reasonably uneventful childhood. Everyone is welcomed.
There is a coordinated integration activity and online integration sessions that allows participants to go deeper into the issues explored. These are a powerful processes and allows participants to give and receive ongoing support to each other.
We ensure that we create an environment that is emotionally safe, supportive and welcoming. The programme is experiential and activities take place in small groups of 3-5, in the full group, 1-1 and individually. Nobody is forced to do anything, but everyone is actively encouraged to engage and participate.
During the first day we spend time agreeing the ground rules for the programme and this always includes confidentiality. This means that when participants are talking about their programme experience to others, they agree not to disclose information that makes other people identifiable.
The Programme creates a space where gay, bi and queer men emotionally connect with themselves and each other in a non-sexualised environment.
The Programme is not therapy – nor is it an alternative to therapy – however, the effect of participation is therapeutic, as it covers emotional and psychological wellbeing issues.
You are not expected to disclose anything you don’t want to, but you will find that the environment that is created during the programme makes people feel safe and comfortable to share very intimate experiences. This is very powerful for the storyteller and to those who listen with attention and do their own internal review.
Everyone deals with being upset in their own unique way, therefore as part of the ground rules participants agree to listen to their own emotional needs. We also always have assistants present and they, along with the facilitators do check-in with participants during the breaks.
The facilitators are qualified certified coaches who specialise in personal development work. They are specialists in people development and are gay men who have and continue to do an extensive amount of self-inquiry and personal development work.
No. Participants are expected to attend the entire weekend aspect of the programme to enable them get the most out of the experience. The programme is designed as a process that takes people on a journey of self-rediscovery and reconnection from beginning to end.
The first of these programmes was delivered in June 2011. Currently we deliver The Quest Programme approximately 2/3 times a year. It is a well-established method that has proven to deliver powerful and sustaining results.
No. Participants go home every evening after the programme. The weekend programme typically runs from 10:00am – 5.00pm on Friday, and 10:00 – 5.30pm on Saturday and Sunday.
No. Participants normally purchase their own lunch from nearby eateries. Light refreshments are provided during the breaks.
Click here for details of the cancellation policy.
Have another question? Then please do email us at: admin@thequestawaitsyou.com
Upcoming Programs
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