Love Me As I Am: gay men reflect on their lives
Later this year, The Quest will be publishing an anthology comprising the stories of gay men reflecting on their lives, and the experiences that have shaped the person that they are today.
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At the beginning of this year, during a conversation on Facebook with a friend from High School, he posted the following:
“just read a post in which a family member said to confine your sexuality to the bedroom…something u should expect more of by the way…more people are gonna be upset especially as u seem to be “flaunting it in their eyes”. Hope the attitude you put up is really you and not a front?”
On the Weekend Exploration workshop, we spend a lot of time investigating ‘shame’. As part of that process, we explore how it might have shown up in our life in the past and where it might still be manifesting in our life today. Part of the exploration also includes investigating the methods we might have used to compensate for shame, and where that might still be occurring in our life today.
In this insightful TED talk, Brené Brown reflects on shame (and vulnerability) and how it forms part of our human experience.
When I read this recent article in the Guardian - Dominic Crouch: ‘I’m so, so sorry for what I’m about to do‘) – I found the initial shock and sorrow of reading about the teenagers suicide, almost eclipsed by the secondary tragedy of the father doing the same. What occurred to me in this devastating situation was that ‘it was already too late’.
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The emerging community of gay men who have been on the Exploration Workshop continues to grow.
The Workshop, inspired by ‘The Velvet Rage‘ (Alan Downs) will be running for the 4th time next month. It feels just like yesterday (June 2011) that we ran the first workshop. The initial workshop ran over a 6-week period in the evenings, in the upper lounge space of Barcode in Vaxhaull, with a group of 10 gay men; we have since changed location and the format of the sessions.
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Every so often I find myself repeating a habit or behaviour that I thought I had seen the last of. Those moments range from not expressing my needs, compromising rather than taking a stand or playing small when deep down I am longing to step into my power.
On those occasions when my self defeating habit rears its head, I silently tell myself that at least I am aware and that ‘when I know better, I will do better’. What often comes to mind during those moments of reflection is ‘Life in Five Short Chapters’ (from “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk) by Portia Nelson. Continue Reading →
City Councilman (Texas), Joel Burns, reaches out to GLBT teens (and adults), with a moving personal story and a message of hope.
Alan Downs, author of ‘The Velvet Rage’, speaks about shame based trauma.
At a recent outing to the Amsterdam Zoo, my partner could not wait to show me the butterfly enclosure. He’d been there before and had told me that it was his favorite part of the Zoo. It was truly spectacular, we were surrounded by an array of colours, and it was a moment that reminded me of childhood, full of innocence and wonder.
A short while later, I asked where the caterpillars were. We found them down in the lower level, and as we headed there I noticed that this part of the enclosure was almost empty; compared to the upper level, which was full of people mesmerized by the colours. Continue Reading →
The Funeral is dedicated to every person still suffering discrimination and prosecution because of his or her sexuality, as well as those burdened with homophobic bullying by the people who are supposed to love, protect and serve them… especially the men and women of Africa. Continue Reading →
Interview with Stuart Haggas of FS magazine
