The Quest - Gay men transforming their livesThe Quest

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The Quest Workshop for Black and Minority Ethnic Gay and Bisexual Men

Registrations Open

Public Health England (PHE) has commissioned The Quest to deliver its flagship “The Quest Workshop” to Black African, Black Caribbean, mixed Black and other ethnicity (BME) gay, bisexual and men who have sex with men (MSM).

The delivery of the workshops is part of a wider PHE project evaluating different models of direct behaviour change interventions for BME gay men and MSM aimed at reducing health risk behaviour and building resilience.

Two workshops will be delivered in London (March & May) and one in Manchester (June).

Click here for more information and registration details.

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The Quest 2015 Retreat

Registrations Open

The Quest Countryside Escape is a chance to leave the city behind to relax and reconnect with a fantastic group of gay men. Set in acres of woodland, gardens and rolling countryside, the Dunford House Estate in West Sussex will be our very own home for this long weekend escape.

We will explore in typical ‘Quest style’, where we find ourselves in our life – the trials and triumphs, the breakthroughs and breakdowns within the peace and tranquility of this wonderful countryside estate.

When: Fri 3 – Sun 5 July 2015

For more information and booking details, click here.

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Registrations Open

Our next The Quest Workshop for Gay Men will be taking place on Fri 24 – 26 April 2015.

During the workshop we will be Investigating the past, Exploring the present, Releasing the pain and toxicity of the past and present, and Cultivating the awareness and tools to enable a wholehearted and nurturing present and future.

Closing date for registrations is Fri 17 April. Continue Reading →

About us

The first step towards contentment is the awareness and appreciation that everyone is different. We therefore understand that each person who decides to embark on The Quest will have a different motivation for participating.

Some see us as a voice of reason, others as Life Coaches or a sounding board. Most see us as a powerful and engaging platform to connect with an extraordinary caliber of gay men who are looking beyond the emotional wounds, baggage and other hang-ups that can impact our everyday lives.

Events Calendar

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What we’re reading

Regardless of whether or not you decide to embark on The Quest, here are some resources for the journey.

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Gallery

"Interesting, enigmatic and enlightening"- Jonathan

"I was unsure about The Quest. I left exhausted, drained and enlightened. Mind opening, fun, hard, fascinating. Thank you"- Phil

"It felt like my third coming out. After coming out of the closet, then out of the HIV closest and finally and powerfully coming out of the closest I had made for myself in which I was suffocating. Thank you guys"- Paul

"As someone who has become disheartened by the commercial gay scene I was impressed with the workshop and the way it reminded me that gay men have a depth of experience, an integrity and a nobility that is second to none."- Ian

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Our Mission

The Quest’s mission is simple – to help gay men better understand and transform the relationships they have with themselves, others and the world they inhabit.

We believe the true value of our work can be found in the lives of the participants, so our approach is as flexible, diverse and authoritive as you want it to be.

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Workout Sessions

We recognise that once the Weekend Exploration workshop is over and we re-enter or day to day lives participants will want to secure, strengthen and expand the progress they have made and so we offer a collection of additional support.

Find out more

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Life In Colour

Red and yellow and pink and blue, purple & orange and green…

Life is always a little more exciting, fulfilling and invigorating when you see it open to new possibilities – this reflects the theme and essence for our blog.
Continue Reading →

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The Quest Workshop

Although it might sound like the most daunting of our services, The Quest Workshop for Gay Men forms the centre piece of our work.

The Exploration is held over 2.5 days – Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday; along with an evening follow-up session, three weeks after the initial Exploration. The journey is exhilarating and life-changing but also intense, revealing, nurturing and profound, all experienced from within the comfort of a safe and intimate environment.

Find out more.

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Speaking from the ‘I’

‘My Story‘ is an ongoing series featuring previous participants of The Quest Workshop.

Graham Hadley attended The Quest Workshop in May 2013……

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

I was introduced to The Quest through a friend who had been on the weekend workshop. I had been doing lots of personal development work through an organisation called ‘The Essence Foundation’ and a series of gay men events through Loving Men. I was intrigued to see how The Quest was different to Essence and Loving Men.

I did go along to a Quest First Tuesday gathering in Soho to get a better idea about The Quest before going on the course. I received such a warm and friendly welcome that I decided to do The Quest weekend workshop in May 2013. Continue Reading →

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Speaking from the ‘I’

‘My Story‘ is an ongoing series featuring previous participants of The Quest Workshop.

Robert Ramcharan attended The Quest Workshop in January 2012…..

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

After coming out as gay in my 40’s, I increasingly became a big believer that I personally needed to continually examine and develop myself and not stand still or fear change. I began to believe that I needed to think about my actions and reactions in the light of a wide range of developmental guides, regarding human thought processes.

I had come from what would I call ‘a life for others’, rather than myself, where I was married to a woman for nearly 20 years, with no male sexual encounters or gay experiences, up until the age of 40. I had 2 kids with my wife, which meant a lot of responsibility. I had been bought up with quite a bit of Roman Catholic guilt, as well as coming from an Asian West Indian background, involving expectations of what a “normal” life should be.

When I inevitably came out (I really had no choice in the matter, not because the situation was out of my control, but because not living my true self was impossibility). I went very wild, but eventually discovered that even this behaviour was not me either.

I had recently done a course which encouraged me to get involved in a community project. I had read “The Velvet Rage” by Alan Downs regarding the fact that shame was a significant (hidden) driver behind many gay men’s behaviour; I was very keen on getting involved in any project that bought Alan to the UK to speak to gay men. After some private research and advice from friends who had heard of Darren and Ade and their work, I met them in a West End restaurant. We talked a lot and I found them passionate and engaging. I was encouraged to first try the course and perhaps possibilities would develop from there, given my personal belief, I had no hesitation in agreeing. Continue Reading →

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THE TWO WAY

Ian McCurrach talks to Shaun de Wet Steyn about his experience of The Daring Way™ workshop.

Ian McCurrach: What drove you to enrol on The Daring Way™ workshop? What did you expect, and in what ways did you hope you would benefit?

Shaun de Wet Steyn: I’m a bit of a self-confessed Brené Brown groupie (there are a few of us around), having watched her TED talks a dozen times and read Daring Greatly.

From a content perspective, her work really struck a chord with me, leading to many ‘aha’ moments. And I find her a phenomenal communicator, using intelligence, humour and warmth to amazing effect. So it felt very natural to want to take my experience of her research to the next stage and that is what attending The Daring Way™ workshop offered me: a group, experiential setting to reflect, share and listen to other humans wanting to dig deeper into what gets in the way from us living fulfilled lives and developing and maintaining rewarding relationships. Continue Reading →

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Speaking from the ‘I’

‘My Story‘ is an ongoing series featuring previous participants of The Quest Workshop.

Peter Cotton attended The Quest Workshop in November 2014…..

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

I have come out as a gay man late in life and have been keen to develop an enjoyable and supportive network through which I can have fun, learn more about myself and discover what it now means for me to be gay. Part of that network has been a gay men’s massage group “Men in Touch”. I was enjoying the tactile aspect of the group as well as the opportunity to form relationships. So when “Men in Touch” (or “Touch Magic” as it was then) joined forces with The Quest to run a day workshop on “Making Room for Love”, I signed up for it. Through that, I was introduced to the two Quest facilitators, to their style of working and to the original basis of their work: “The Velvet Rage” by Alan Downs, a book which, co-incidentally, I had read not long before. Through the autumn of 2014, I attended several First Tuesday Quest Socials, found them very congenial events and eventually signed up for the November workshop. Continue Reading →

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‘My Story‘ is an ongoing series featuring previous participants of The Quest Workshop.

Paul Ryan attended The Quest Workshop in April 2014…..

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

When the train hits the buffer it comes to a stop; well my life hit a buffer and I felt there was no way to go forward – just like the train hitting the buffer, with no way forward.

It all started with my best friend dying, and within weeks of his death I lost my job, and learned that my mother did not recognize me when I went to see her, (she passed away on the last day of my workshop). My confidence went down like sinking ship, I felt I did not belong, had no value in life, was unloved, unworthy of anybody and did not love myself. I had two choices – to go down the road of life long depression and a life of loneliness or find help to recover my confidence and rebuild my social life make new friends and stop procrastination my life and avoiding myself.

Continue Reading →

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The Two Way

Ian McCurrach talks to Nirmal Sandhu about being Gay, British and Asian

Ian McCurrach
In what specific ways is it difficult being a gay BME around the issues of sexuality in your experience? I’m thinking family, culture, friends and peers.

Nirmal Sandhu
Family: Being gay feels at odds with a sense of responsibility that I used to feel about carrying on my family’s name. I am the eldest child and had a sister who died 16 years ago and so I felt a real pressure to marry and to carry forward the family name. I am from a Sikh background and there is a great emphasis placed on the role of the traditional family and your role within a community and actively participating in the community rather than acting on individual preferences. The dominant feeling is that being gay is dissolute and runs counter to these values because it doesn’t take into account the benefit of the community as a whole. I remember being called out on my choice of living away from my parents, and taking ownership for the way I want to live my life at a religious blessing by my parents local priest. Continue Reading →

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‘My Story‘ is an ongoing series featuring previous participants of The Quest Workshop.

Tobias Oliver attended The Quest Workshop in November 2014…..

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

The last two years has seen a great deal of challenge and change, both good and bad, for me and my family. Perhaps inevitably, this brought with it a greater sense of introspection and self-examination. (I turned forty a few years’ ago, so perhaps it’s just a mid-life crisis or ‘spiritual awakening’!)

Whatever the reason, I felt compelled to take a long, hard look at myself and my life. Something I have so skilfully avoided in the past, mainly because it’s difficult and I don’t usually like what I see. I had a good idea what was probably lurking there and it scared me. I was afraid.

Then I picked up a flyer for The Quest in Soho on a visit to London – I live in Sheffield, but am frequently in the capital to visit family or for work – and it spoke to me. I kept reading it, and visiting The Quest website. Continue Reading →

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‘My Story‘ is an ongoing series featuring previous participants of The Quest Workshop.

Mark Ward attended The Quest Workshop in December 2012…..

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

I ‘came out’ to everyone at the age of 48 in the summer of 2011. I had spent years of living a heterosexual life peppered with some vague mumblings to a few close friends about being bisexual. In my adult life I had never had sex with a man, but had experienced two physical relationships with women in my late 20s and early 30s interspersed with long periods of celibacy. So I was ‘out’ but pretty confused and unsure ‘how’ to live my new self.

In my many searches on the Internet looking for answer to my confusion, I came upon a reference to the book “Love me as I am” and I eagerly ordered a copy. The book both resonated with me and left me with even more questions. At the end of the book was a link to The Quest website. I visited it and then without much thought or procrastination (unusual for me) I found myself booking onto a workshop. I didn’t know what it would involve or whether it would be right for me, but I knew I had to take the leap (any leap) and ‘do’ something.

Continue Reading →

Searching for that place called ‘home’

In conversation with Jeremy Helligar

Ade Adeniji (Co-Founder of The Quest) speaks to Jeremy about being black and gay, online dating, relationships, being an outsider, and much much more.

Jeremy Helligar is a journalist, author, pop culturist and world traveler from New York City, where he spent 15 years working as a writer and editor for People, Teen People, Us Weekly and Entertainment Weekly. In 2006, he moved to Buenos Aires, where he learned Spanish and launched his own blog, Theme for Great Cities, a travelogue, memoir, entertainment bible and Sex and the City rolled into one. He followed four and a half years in BA and two and a half years based back and forth between Melbourne and Bangkok with one month in Berlin, one month in Rome, and one month in Tel Aviv, before landing in Cape Town. Jeremy currently resides in Sydney, Australia. He is the author of “Is It True What They Say About Black Men?: Tales of Love, Lust and Language Barriers on the Other Side of the World“.

Ade: I first came across your work on The Huffington Post and when I then started reading your book (Is it true what they say about Black Men) I immediately felt this urge to have a conversation with you, because right from the beginning you talk about being black and being gay. What was your inspiration for writing the book?

Jeremy: It’s funny because it happened in spurts. I didn’t set out to write the book. I have a blog called “Theme for Great Cities.” I’ve been maintaining that for about six and a half years now. And it just started off as me wanting to share my thoughts with the one or two people who I figured would end up reading it. Over time friends and strangers who ended up reading the blog kept telling me ‘you really ought to write a book. Because you have all of these experiences, you’ve traveled to so many interesting places, you’ve met so many different people, you should write a book’. And after a while I started saying maybe they are on to something, maybe I should write a book.

And the title, well…. a lot of times I talk to different writers and they have a lot of trouble coming up with a title because they want something that encapsulates the theme of the book. For me I don’t think that the title “Is It True What They Say About Black Men?” necessarily encapsulates the theme of the book, but it’s definitely the theme of my life since I left the United States. As I’ve said so many times before, it’s the one question that I’ve heard in every country, on every continent, in different languages. With the book title, I wanted to take ownership of it and have a little bit of fun with it. Continue Reading →

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My Wish for 2015……

We are conscious that this time of year is often a time of reflection and anticipation. We therefore felt it would be a lovely idea to once again kick start the new year with a blog post featuring some of the gay men who have journeyed with The Quest.

We hope that by sharing their responses we can highlight that we all connected and ‘hardwired for connection'; even though our journeys might often take us on different paths and look very different on the surface.

We asked the men to complete the four statements below:

What I rediscovered from my journey with The Quest in 2014 was…….
My 2015 Wish for myself is………….
My 2015 Wish for Gay Men everywhere is………
My 2015 Wish for the Gay Community is………..

Continue Reading →

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The ‘C’ word

In this conflab, Darren Brady, Co-Founder of The Quest and Naveen Puri a previous participant of The Quest workshop, talk about ‘Is The Quest a cult?’.

Naveen: I’m interested to explore why some people have sometimes felt the Quest might be a cult. What are your thoughts?

Darren: I have heard this! Strangely nobody has said this to me directly so I haven’t been able to explore it in depth with people. I have heard it said in jest though which all suggests that there can be some suspicion and cynicism out there about what we do.
What are your thoughts? What have people said to you regarding this?

Naveen: Speaking for myself, I know the first time I attended a Quest social I was very struck by the difference in which the gay men around me were interacting compared to what I’d been used to in other parts of ‘the scene’. People were uncharacteristically friendly and I suppose my inner cynic wondered what the catch was, whether they were on commission, or indeed whether the Quest was a cult! Continue Reading →

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‘My Story‘ is an ongoing series featuring previous participants of The Quest Workshop.

Ian Smith attended The Quest Workshop in September 2014…..

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

I had developed a general malaise towards life. I felt disconnected from my friends and my surroundings. Feeling that no-one understood me and because of that I didn’t want to try and connect with them anymore. At weekends I would only leave the house to scratch the itch of needing sexual contact, otherwise I would have been in my pyjamas all weekend. Life wasn’t getting worse, but it definitely wasn’t getting any better. I decided some changes need to be made. Continue Reading →

Sex: Smoke and Mirrors – what lies beneath our desires, addictions and compulsions

In conversation with Robert Weiss

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is Senior Vice President of Clinical Development with Elements Behavioral Health. He is author of Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men and Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction. An author and subject expert on the relationship between digital technology and human sexuality, Mr. Weiss has served as a media specialist for CNN, The Oprah Winfrey Network, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Today Show, among many others.

Ade Adeniji (Co-Founder of The Quest) sat down with Rob during his recent visit to London to talk about Addiction, Drugs, Intersection of Race and Sexuality, Gay Culture and much much more.

Ade Adeniji: Having read your book [Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men], one of the things that struck me is that I meet a number of gay men who have many of the signs of sex addiction that you identify in your book, and yet, they don’t use the word ‘addict’. Do you come across that in your work?

Rob Weiss: I think it’s very individual, but there’s also a lot of denial. If you look at the back of “Cruise Control”, there’s a little section about why I wrote the book. What it says is that I was at an HIV conference in the 90s and I was sitting backstage with a bunch of therapists, who were gay men. They were complaining about how they could not talk about the problems within the gay community – such as domestic violence, drug and alcohol problems, and sexual acting out – because there’s this thought that when you have an oppressed minority, and if you’re among that minority, that you don’t want to say what your own issues are.

It’s like being in an unhealthy family where no one talks about the problem. Because if, as gay men, we say we have sexual problems, then the larger culture says, “See, we knew that. We knew those people were all sick, and all sick about sex,” so it just doesn’t get talked about. This was during the height of the HIV crisis. Continue Reading →

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‘My Story‘ is an ongoing series featuring previous participants of The Quest Workshop.

Steve Harding attended The Quest Workshop in June 2014…..

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

I became aware of the work of The Quest through a mutual friend of Ade’s. Over the years I have done a fair amount of personal development work, but this has been largely one to one and I was keen to gain a new perspective on my ‘story’ through group work.

What was your experience of The Quest Workshop?

I found The Quest workshop challenging, nourishing, enlightening and overall a life-enhancing experience. Continue Reading →

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‘My Story‘ is an ongoing series featuring previous participants of The Quest Workshop.

Jide Rowland Macaulay attended The Quest Workshop in April 2014…..

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

First it was my curiosity to find out what was going on. I knew that I had issues, mostly especially at the time I was struggling with many undecided matters about my sexuality and importantly decisions about my future. Deciding how to deal with issues with my “family of origin”, dealing with both internalized anger and external abuses, my religious community and reconciling my sexuality as a black gay man of faith, and of Nigeria descent.

What was your experience of The Quest Workshop?

Extreme, candid and authentic, extremely genuine and a life saving experience. Whilst I have attended numerous workshops about being gay and life, The Quest workshop stood out as exceptional, and I have since challenged myself to build on what I have learnt, so I can move forward positively. Continue Reading →

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The Two Way

Ian McCurrach talks to Darren Brady (Co-Founder of The Quest and The Daring Way™ Certified Facilitator-Candidate) about The Daring Way™ workshop

Ian: Can you tell me what The Daring Way™ is all about?

Darren: The Daring Way™ is the way in which Brené Brown translated the findings of her research and the content of her book “Daring Greatly” into an experiential workshop.

The workshop explores what it takes to ‘Show up, Be seen and Live Brave’ in the world. The premise is that we can live our fullest life when we move beyond fear and shame and learn how to navigate the negative inner dialogue that keeps us small. The workshop develops our ability for self-compassion and empathy as we identify what brings us joy, passion and fulfillment. It is very much an examination of where we are today and where we want to get to tomorrow. It is interactive, creative, educational and pioneering. Similarly to The Quest, this workshop takes place over a Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday daytime. Continue Reading →

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The Quest Xmas Party

Tickets now available for The Quest Christmas Party

Join us for The Quest Christmas party on 6th December 2014 from 7pm at Brown Sugar on High Holborn.

Reconnect with Quest friends you’ve met throughout the year at our events and workshops and make new ones during what is sure to be a memorable evening full of great company, laughter and connection. Continue Reading →

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THE QUEST THIRD BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION & FUNDRAISER

Thomas Doogan talks about the recent 3rd birthday bash for The Quest

Don’t you just love it when people feel entertained, have a lot of fun and all for a good cause? Well that’s exactly what happened when we recently celebrated The Quest Third Birthday at The Proud Archivist, which sits canal side in Haggerston.

From the moment I arrived, I could see the effort that has been invested by the party committee, Michael, Neil, Kenni, Rod, Peter and co! They created a special space for us for the celebration. For me it’s seeing this effort that really displays what community means and how everyone’s effort can play a big part in success.

We were met with champagne, always a good friend, and a room so beautifully dressed up and decorated. And were there balloons?? You betcha! Continue Reading →

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Reflections on The Quest Summer Retreat

Dan Hall and Thomas Doogan share their reflections on attending The Quest Retreat, which took place in West Sussex from 4 – 6 July 2014

Dan Hall

Not long ago I spent an evening dancing, rather well I’ll have you know, to Suede and Kate Bush at the RVT in Vauxhall. Within an hour of my arrival I was clamped to a massive ex-rugby player and we snogged non-stop for the next three hours. It was a good night.

Inevitably the lights came up and I asked whether we should go to his place or mine. He smiled kindly, wrote on my hand, “Read VELVET RAGE”, kissed me, and left. Horny and irritated, I ordered the book the next day and consumed it in almost one sitting.

Fifty per cent I found to be pop-psyche rubbish. All that stuff about seeking approval from disapproving fathers was nonsense in my world. And, for me, the intrusion of the author’s own life into the narrative got in the way of the copy. But enough of the book chimed to make an impact and I thought too much of my life rested on: if he’s not worth fucking, he’s not worth knowing. Even without the direction of The Quest, it was clear this was a pretty shitty attitude. Continue Reading →

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5 days on The Daring Way™

Ade Adeniji and Darren Brady, Co-Founders of The Quest, recently went to San Antonio to take part in The Daring Way™ certification training. In this conflab, they reflect on their insights since the journey.

Darren: It’s been 5 days since we finished participating in The Daring Way™ training in Texas with Brené Brown. What reflections and insights have you had since then?

Ade: Too many to roll off in a single conversation, and many are still percolating.

One of the main things that immediately dawned on me whilst there is that there are many practitioners out there who are also keen to work with their clients on issues such as Shame, Courage and Vulnerability. In our journey with The Quest, it has often been hard to find other practitioners, in the UK, doing this work.

From a practitioner’s perspective, The Daring Way™ program was a good way to integrate the work we have been doing with gay men. The essence of the program was – Show Up™, Be Seen™, Live Brave™ – this pretty much captures what we have been doing with gay men over the past 3 years; looking at the thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviours that can often get in the way. Continue Reading →

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The dilemma of ‘hook-up’ apps

In this Conflab, Ade Adeniji, Co-Founder of The Quest and Sunny Bahra, a previous participant of The Quest workshops, talk about gay men and the dilemma of hook-up apps.

Ade: @HuffPostGay recently featured a piece entitled “why I’ve given up on hooking up” where the writer talked about his journey with ‘dating’ apps. What were your thoughts?

Sunny: The article really resonated with me as I, of late, have been having a similar attitude to the whole scenario of “dating apps”. As humans we all crave connection and online dating is the, relatively, new way of meeting and conversing with people – whether you are straight or gay.

Ade: So, what is your attitude towards these apps? I for one think that its all down to the user and the underlying ‘hunger’, ‘need’ or ‘intention’ that is driving them to use the apps. Continue Reading →

“KILLING MY MOTHER” – Review

….. by Michael Gaffney

I was fortunate to witness Ade’s recent performance of “Killing my Mother“. What an arresting title and it soon became apparent how it came about. The performance was performed at the School of Social Entrepreneurs where The Quest hold it’s workshops.

I have experienced many profound and powerful feelings in this venue and this event was no exception.

I was immediately drawn in to the emotion of Ade’s vivid, visceral and candid story of his life. The immediacy and power of events was conveyed by the story being told in the present tense, although the story moved backwards and forwards between different years. I was moved to tears on more than one occasion and there were also flashes of humour, which meant that the story felt incredibly rounded, grounded and real. Continue Reading →

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The Two Way

Ian McCurrach talks to Peter Collins about his experience of marching in London Pride

IM: Peter, I have never taken part in London Pride before, so what would you say to me, or others who have no previous experience about what they might expect to find?

PC: London Pride is an extraordinary event, especially if you’ve not taken part before. For me it’s an outright celebration of being gay from across the community, with a huge variety of expressions and identities of what it means to be gay to thousands individuals and hundreds of groups. It’s also a fantastic and colourful extravaganza, a real sight to behold, and a unique way to meet and party with people you’d never come across anywhere else. But London Pride also goes beyond being a celebration and for many is an important statement to London, the nation, the media and the government that we are here, we are here to stay and we are a force to be reckoned with. Continue Reading →

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The Two Way

Ian McCurrach talks to Ade Adeniji

5 Steps to Authentic Self Expression

IM: What are the main outcomes of the Authentic Self Expression WorkOUT?

AA: The session is an opportunity to deeply explore the different aspects of self-expression and examine how we ‘show up’ (or not) for each one of them. The intention is that participants leave with a clearer idea of what authentic self-expression personally means to them, identify the gaps between where they are in relation to authentic self expression and where they desire to be and during the day we will spend time practicing closing the gap. Continue Reading →

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Reflections on the Journey

Darren: As we approach our third year anniversary I thought it would be interesting to talk about the journey so far and where we intend to go next.

When you look back over the last 3 years what stands out for you?

Ade: So many things stand out – too many for this conflab!

I remember reading The Velvet Rage when it came out in 2005 and really connecting with it and wanting to share the insights with every gay man I knew – well that did not happen and it simply rested on my bookcase, until you and I came together for our 6-week journey with a group of gay men in the Summer of 2011. That 6-week journey with The Velvet Rage really stands out for me. I thought I knew a lot of stuff, but by the end of the first evening, I remember saying to you – ‘gosh, I am getting a lot from this, much more than I could have ever anticipated’.

The other thing related to that which also stands out for me, is the hunger for this sort of deep exploration amongst gay men. I remember us having a number of enquries as to when we would be running the next group. Continue Reading →

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An exceptional resource for gay men to explore and better understand the complexities, joys, challenges, frustrations, thinking and emotions involved with being a gay man in today’s world.

Registrations Open

Registrations Open

Registrations Open

Our next The Quest Workshop for Gay Men will be taking place on Fri 24 – 26 April 2015.

The first step towards contentment is the awareness and appreciation that everyone is different. We therefore understand that each person who decides to embark on The Quest will have a different motivation for participating.

Events Calendar

Upcoming Events

2014 London Pride

The Quest’s mission is simple – to help gay men better understand and transform the relationships they have with themselves, others and the world they inhabit.

We recognise that once the Weekend Exploration workshop is over and we re-enter or day to day lives participants will want to secure, strengthen and expand the progress they have made and so we offer a collection of additional support.

Red and yellow and pink and blue, purple & orange and green…

Although it might sound like the most daunting of our services, The Quest Workshop for Gay Men forms the centre piece of our work.

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

In conversation with Jeremy Helligar

In this conflab, Darren Brady, Co-Founder of The Quest and Naveen Puri a previous participant of The Quest workshop, talk about ‘Is The Quest a cult?’.

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

In conversation with Robert Weiss

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

What was your experience of The Quest Workshop?

What brought you to The Quest Workshop?

What was your experience of The Quest Workshop?

Tickets now available for The Quest Christmas Party

Dan Hall

Ade Adeniji and Darren Brady, Co-Founders of The Quest, recently went to San Antonio to take part in The Daring Way™ certification training. In this conflab, they reflect on their insights since the journey.

….. by Michael Gaffney

Ian McCurrach talks to Peter Collins about his experience of marching in London Pride

Ian McCurrach talks to Ade Adeniji

5 Steps to Authentic Self Expression

Ian McCurrach talks to Peter Collins